Thursday, June 7, 2012


....I'm glad it's berry season!
You can never have too many strawberries.
This week's coolish weather made for very pleasant picking.

It is now just 10 days until I leave for my first session at Sunbridge. I'll be gone for 3 weeks (weekdays only). I decided months back that I would commute 90 minutes each way rather than attempt to find on or off campus housing...more important in the decision was the fact that I am just not nearly ready to be away from my family for that long. I can't imagine. I'll have 3 more 3-week long sessions until I graduate, so perhaps I'll try a few days next year or the year after. 
I had childcare for W squared away and confirmed for weeks now. I felt comfortable with this and had already started handwriting detailed notes for each day. I'm planning each meal in advance as the boy can only eat so much Annie's Macaroni and Cheese (not much else that Pop-Pop would really cook, so I'm pre-planning refrigerator-to-oven meals...please, if you have any ideas or suggestions, let me know!!!)

All seemed well until I got a bomb dropped on me earlier today. Turns out, my father is in real danger of losing his job, as the plant he works for is filing for bankruptcy. He'll either lose his job altogether, or his hours will drastically change, thus making him unavailable for the multitude of days he was planning to care for W.


I do know that we can make this work, but I'm feeling more than uneasy. I have many wonderful friends who have offered to help, but this means that he'll be in different care each and every day, pretty much. I'm worried that it will be too much for him without me for 3 weeks, away from his home and usual day, and the lack of napping that may take place. All of this makes me feel sick to my stomach with anxiety.

My dad's schedule could completely change from week to week what with the impending bankruptcy. He'll know  more next Thursday. All I can do is hope and pray that all will go as planned.
I also feel guilty for being such a selfish daughter; not thinking of how horrible it will be if he loses his job.

It will all work out as it should. I have to believe that W will adapt to these changes. I know that he is more resilient than I'll ever understand. But, this is hard for me, too. 


  1. First off, the picture at the end of your post is a heart melter. So sweet and real.

    Next, I am praying for your father. I pray for peace in his heart as to his upcoming upheavel with his career. Uncertainty is super hard when it has the potential to change every single thing about your life.

    And for you sweet mama I pray that you will be able to continue after your dream. I pray that all your commitment towards your family AND your education will both be rewarded with the proper loving environment(s) when you travel to Sunbridge.

  2. I'm a mom who took 2 weeks off from school to have my daughter, then got back to class with the childcare help of my dad. As far as W possibly having different care givers while you are away just think of how much regularity he normally has-3 weeks will not break him! If you trust your family and friends will do their best then don't worry. I will be thinking of you and sending some awesome energy toward your father.

  3. It is a hard position to be in. I am waiting to start my early years training here for another year until my son is weaned. He will be just under 2 years old at that time. I know already he will be just fine for the week long sleep-over induction that takes place, as will my daughter who is W's age. I also know that I am not ready to do it this year. For our family, though, and for myself, I need to start moving towards that goal and stepping outside of my comfort zone to make that happen. To lead by example means sometimes you put yourself in stressful situations or you adjust with the changes life gives to you. Your son will be fine. You will be just fine. You can do it! If you decide against it, that will be fine too. Kids are so resilient and you have worked hard to create a sense of safety for W. He will trust in that when life changes around him. Good luck.


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