Clean up time!

....during play, there always comes a time to clean up the space we share together and to return all toys back to where they 'live'.

Do you remember clean up time as a joyous part of the day...?

I don't think most of us do.

I recall our nursery teacher playing a few notes on the big old piano which sat in the corner of the room...that was our cue. We all went as fast as we could; flinging barbie dolls back into the big dollhouse, throwing blocks back into a big crate. It was loud and frantic and the job got done.
At the day care I used to work at, clean up time was always a struggle. I got so tired of saying over and over again, "clean up time!! Let's go!" It was drudgery as there were so many toys to put away. The task seemed never ending.
Fast forward to about one year ago during my very first observation in a Waldorf nursery room. The teacher sang a song and started cleaning up herself. There was no verbal instruction....just doing. The teacher and assistant both helped throughout the entire process bringing joy to the task...the children imitated them, naturally, and began cleaning up themselves. While observing in other nursery classrooms, I also noticed that it seemed like the teacher and assistant were really doing the bulk of the job.....I can't imagine this happening in another setting. I was always used to the children completing the job solely and not being able to move on to the next activity until the task at hand was done. It was the cause of many power struggles. It was refreshing to observe the adults joyfully participating in the task...and watching the children follow. Again, we teach young children teach by imitation, the most powerful tool.
During playschool, clean up time arrives just before we begin to prepare our snack table together. I sing a simple song and the children meet me at our sofa. We chat for a few moments and I then assign "jobs"....each child has a task, such as wiping the table, putting the knitted animals back in the barn, sweeping the floor, etc. I begin our clean up song and everyone is off, including me. I take part in each aspect of cleaning up; helping along the way and sometimes doing my own part which is usually sweeping the floor with my "big broom". Each toy has a specific space where it "lives" and this is consistent. I feel that this coupled with the small amount of toys which we have makes for a smooth tidy up time.
  For W, now 30 months, I take a different approach. The one area which always needs tidying is his beloved car/truck/bus basket. This happens before mealtimes, bath and bed, and before we leave the house.

  I began setting up 2 long wood blocks as a ramp to the basket. I sat down and started rolling the cars up the ramp and into the basket. It caught his attention right away and this is how we tidy the cars each and every time now. The playschool children also love this and start building it straight away during clean up time.
  This brings joy to our task at hand which is my goal in all that we do. Any time we see something as drudgery, the children will indeed pick up on this emotion. A song to accompany emptying the dishwasher or scrubbing the sink can transform something not all that enjoyable into a task which you may even begin to like.

 

washing the dishes....a sensory experience!

 I invite you to let go of the notion that young children must be responsible solely for cleaning up their things....happily join in on the task a few times and see what a difference it makes. That's not to say that a child won't start to see you as someone they can turn to and say "You do it!" (as W sometimes like to remark)....I make sure to  involve him; such as we both walk to the garbage can to throw away the food on the floor, etc.

 

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement during these past few weeks. I feel like W has been non-stop ill and our sleep has been terrible. I did take him to the physician on Friday and it turns out he has a double ear infection. The poor boy. That would explain a lot. Hopefully we are on the road to recovery and reconnection. I can feel it already. I'm looking forward to the upcoming season of Lent as we experience the death and rebirth of all that surrounds us. 

I do have a bit of unfortunate news to add in closing. W's dear fish, Tuna, which we received for Christmas has passed away and it was entirely my fault. He slipped out of the net while I was cleaning his bowl and fell down the drain. I couldn't catch him. It was horrible; like something straight from a corny family channel movie.

We've gotten another fish straight away, but I'll never forget what happened today. And I'll be sure to be more careful. W saw the whole ordeal as he helps me clean the bowl. All he kept saying was "Tuna went down the drain! He's going!" in a happy voice. 

Rest in Peace, Tuna.

Go, Mill, Go!

We are officially the proud owners and operators of a hand grain mill which has been such great fun all day long! Bread day will never be the same:)
The mill I coveted was over $400 and was out of the question. I did  manage to find one on Amazon.com which received mostly great reviews for under $60. (here it is if you're interested!) This model is compact and works very well. It grinds fine flour suitable for bread but also coarse meal for porridge and muesli.

Most importantly, the children love it. And I love that it is purposeful work at its best; showing us where flour comes from and how we can use the fruits of our labor together to create something delicious.

....If only I could describe the conversation and instructions going on here...

:)

Ground flour can also make a pretty decent "mess" on the floor (think: the flour bowl, nearly full, dropping on the floor. Twice. The little hands are so excited to touch and feel.)

It's an opportunity to take care of our space.

...The week has not gotten any easier with W, though. The poor boy is not himself. I do believe that lack of sleep, too many visitors to our home, and me being busy with my church job is adding to it. I've been trying to implement a warm bath together directly after the last child leaves playschool. I think that relaxing in the tub and "washing the day away"  may help...

I am considering taking him to the physician's tomorrow as it's been a week with multiple symptoms.

The poor boy is miserable. I wish I knew how to help him, but I simply can't hold him all day long and nurse at his every wish. I wouldn't be able to get out of the rocking chair if I did!

 

Today was an interesting day. My wonderful assistant, Monica, had a home day as her daughter was feeling ill. Surprisingly enough, the day went smoothly and very quietly. I am really, really seeing how the lack of adult interaction and conversation changes our environment. Adult conversation really does take something away from the feeling of the space. It's hard not to talk with one of your closest friends, but it does serve to keep you more connected and present with the children, which is invaluable. Even if they don't understand your conversation or words, they surely do pick up on the emotion involved.

One more thing to strive for!

In other news, I have started crafting my own hair accessories (I know this is random, but I'm excited!)

I'm in love with hair sticks as they are versatile and very hair friendly (in that they won't pull or tangle!)

 

They're fairly simple to make and a lot of fun!

I don't have any experience working with beads, but this could be something I may really begin to enjoy...

 

Another single stick I created. This hairstyle is called the "Chinese Bun" and is very, very simple. 

Have a great weekend!

For the birds..

We celebrated Valentine's Day this past Friday with the playschool children....I decorated the night before, hanging up a frilly vintage pink garland I found at a garage sale, some strung heart doilies, and a few crocheted hearts made by my dear friend. That's about it as I just wasn't feeling too excited or inspired by this festival. Anyone else?

We mixed up batches of birdseed and gelatin to create these sweet little birdcakes. We used heart shaped cookie cutters to turn them into Valentine's for the birds. They surely deserve a treat, too!

Speaking of a treat, Jay and I will celebrate Valentine's Day at some point this month at one of our favorite local spots, The Bookstore. I love the ambiance as it really is set up like a speakeasy bar...complete with 1930's music, decor, and gin drinks:)

I thank all of you for your well wishes and advice regarding my recent struggles...I do feel a few things need clarification, though...
*The way I wrote about how I feel when W hits me was misleading....I don't think hitting or any other act of physical aggression towards myself or anyone else should be tolerated. If it's in a moment of arms flailing everywhere in frustration, that's different. But if it's intended...such as, you (a young child) look at me and hit me, that's another story. I do put W down every time this happens and I walk away. "Our hands are not for hitting" in an even voice is my stock response. However, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" so I attempt to catch his hands before he hits in the first place. Again, "our hands are not for hitting" or "you just hit me" are my go-to responses. I've also had issues with W hitting other playschool friends, which is challenging, of course. My response to this stems from understanding that young children are constantly imitating the adults who surround them: I use my verbal response (again) "You just hit __________" and "Our hands are not for hitting"...The child who has been struck receives a hug from me. They might also receive an ice pack which has been brought by another friend or some lavender salve to rub on the "boo-boo." W almost always picks up on the emotion and activity and often brings over a tissue to the child, as he assumes the child is sad and therefore crying. He ducks down very close to their face and asks, "Are you ok?" or "all better?" To me, this is the slow progress that I feel is healthy for everyone involved. No one is sent to "time out" (which I feel strongly about, especially for very young children under 3) and everyone's dignity is honored. Of course, there comes a time when other measures may be taken, such as when a child is older, but for 2.5 year old, I am confident with how I handle these situations. That's not to say that I sometimes don't question if they're working, just like nearly everything else in life. I try very hard not to use negative statements or to yell. I don't think this is a sign of weakness on my part or that I'm a "softie". I just believe in discipline that is respectful to everyone involved-- including myself. I feel best when I use the tactics I described above and I believe that the patience and time invested will pay off.
A reader had mentioned boundaries in the comments section and I must express that there are certainly boundaries here and they are followed through each and every time.

"....we must provide appropriate boundaries for the child. When we give direction to the child or make requests of the child, or say that we are going to do something, we must be clear in our thinking, phrase our request in the positive, then stay with the direction and be consistent. If we reverse direction, we
damage the child, we cause nervousness and insecurity. Parents and teaches who are constantly inconsistent, do not allow the child to meet the realities of existence. The child is then educated for a life which does not exist, becomes weak, and is at the mercy of its surroundings and of other people."

-Dorothy Olson

More about young children and conflicts here.

photos from the week..

 

I hope I didn't sound too defensive; I'm not feeling the need at all. I just wanted to clarify some of the discipline measures I use. While I believe they are working well for us, they may not suit every family or situation, of course.

Please feel free to share any discipline techniques which have worked for you!

After the fire...

It's been an interesting week.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been at my wits end with my W as of late. There's something inside of me that has been churning; buttons that are being pressed over and over again. Patience is running dry and I've been craving moments to myself to just rethink and process.
My boy is 30 months and actively exploring his boundaries and the world around him. His body is changing. He's been waking during nap and bed time causing me much lost sleep and time to complete work for my other job which really tends to set me back emotionally. I've been at the receiving end of much hitting and slapping, and I'm not just talking flailing arms here while he's upset.
What does it feel like to get smacked in the face? What do you feel instantly?
I usually feel annoyed and like I have to just put him down and walk away.
This week I feel like screaming "NO!" I become angry, which is a very real emotion for me.
All of this coupled with fighting naps, general crankiness, and him screaming "NO!" right back at me (ironic!) makes for a challenging week in every way.
I felt tired of sitting in the rocking chair for an hour before bedtime, tired of him nursing all throughout the night and pulling on my nipples (ouch. That never doesn't hurt like hell.), tired of him crying for me all throughout the night.
Amidst my frustration and building anger, I totally skipped over the realization that he may be getting sick. Or teething. Or picking up on my negative emotions.
Yesterday, he woke from a short nap with a 102 fever and vomited all over me. And for the rest of the evening. He needed to be held all night...and I felt myself softening once again.
I felt a little bit guilty, but mostly...revived. Revived by the real reminder that this little body needs me for so many different reasons and things... that I need to be a solid rock, yet a soft landing to arrive at when he needs it most. I felt his body close to mine, like a hot oven burning, and smelled his hair. Yes, this is it. 

I see him so miserable and reaching out and I realize over again that I want to hold him. I want to rock him. Maybe I don't feel this way all the time, but that's ok, too.
Many people may believe that being a stay-at-home parent or working with young children is not such a difficult role. Truth is, and I think you'll agree, it can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Everyday, you're giving so much of yourself---your soul, your heart, your body, your very being, to these children who live in this difficult world where they face so many challenges. They can take so much from you, but you're willing to give it. Sometimes we fall off the train...or we willingly get off...but we always jump back on.

W's fever is still burning, although he was in better spirits for some of the day today. He spent most of the evening slumped over on me, in the darkened living room. After a 103 degree fever last night, it's worth mentioning that he awoke with a somewhat different voice. His usual way of saying "yeah"...turned into a definitive "yes." seemingly overnight. His voice sounded mature and his sentences more formed. I have read that many children experience developmental changes after a high fever, so this was interesting to me. I noticed this right away.

Through difficult times, I have been practicing connecting with W's guardian angel and the spiritual world around me. (see a detailed excerpt of the book I've been reading and considering here) This practice does help me through the realization that I will always need help and guidance in caring for this young child, and any child who is in my care.

“Remember daily that you are continuing the work of the spiritual world with the children. You
are the preparers of the path for these young souls who wish to form their lives in these difficult times. 

The spiritual world
will always stand by you in this task. This is the wellspring of strength which you so need.”

~Herbert Hahn

(taken from this fantastic article" Birth to the Age of Three: Our Responsibility"-- a wonderful and important read.)

Sugar free baking: honey cornbread

I arrived at sugar free baking for children about 9 months ago....

It wasn't, and sometimes still isn't always easy, but I feel that I'm reaping the benefits.

W is basically sugar free, and that includes organic and cane sugars, 99% of the time. We use maple syrup and honey to sweeten and bake, and so far the results are great. 

At the age of 30 months, I just don't see how I can clean his teeth well enough for him to be consuming sugar. There's that coupled with my opinion that children don't need and shouldn't have much sugar that has led us to where we are today.

Wednesdays are cornbread day here at playschool...

W and I prepare the cornbread before the children arrive in the morning so it is baking in the oven by 8:30. I have to add that baking is now W's most favorite purposeful work. He loves it! I know I can offer it whenever he's feeling cranky and it will cheer him up right away. 

 

learning to crack eggs with his Granny Smith

 

Enjoy our recipe for honey cornbread and don't expect there to be any leftovers!

 

I found this recipe online and altered a few things to suit us best.

The rest of the instructions are easy, just combine ingredients and pour into a greased 8x8 glass pan. Bake in an oven preheated to 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

W and the children love to "paint the pan" with oil and a paintbrush which has been reserved for food use only.

I currently use Smart Balance oil because I go through so much of it during weekly baking. If I had a larger budget, I'd like to use Sunflower oil.

We cut the bread into squares and spread sugar free fruit preserves on each half. (My favorite is Crofter's Red Raspberry....YUM.)

Cornbread day is a challenge when it comes to guiding the children to eat slowly and take small bites.

{I should follow my own advice.}

Natural beauty giveaway!

Please welcome one of our newest sponsors, Chagrin Valley Soap and Salve!

Chagrin Valley all natural soaps and all natural shampoo bars are handmade from scratch, one small batch at a time.  The recipes are meticulously developed to produce a mild, rich, soothing soap that feels creamy in your hands, offers a magnificent long-lasting lather, and leaves your skin and hair feeling clean, soft, silky, and radiantly healthy.  Every bath and shower will become a relaxing, enjoyable experience.  

Inspired by the love of nature and gardening, CV Handcrafted Soaps are made with herbs, seeds, flowers, vegetables, fruits, and natural botanical essential oils to provide natural color, aromatherapy, texture, and gentle exfoliation.  Many of the bars are enriched with natural emollients such as Shea, Mango, and Cocoa Butters and then "superfatted" with high quality exotic oils. 

 

Sounds good, doesn't it?

But here's my favorite part!

The Chagrin Valley Soap Pledge to our customers
Our products are always natural and will NEVER contain . . .

detergents sulfates petroleum products parabens pthalates synthetic preservatives artificial colors artificial fragrances foam boosters propylene glycol

We do lots of homework to ensure that every ingredient that we use to formulate our recipes will be kind to your skin and not do harm to you or to our planet.  We proudly list EVERY ingredient in our products, because we believe that you, the consumer, has the right to know!

  I found out about CV soaps through a website for long hair care which I visit often. I decided to order a sample of their Ayurvedic Shampoo bar, (info about shampoo bars here) which I wasn't sure  if I loved upon trying it. Truth is, it takes your hair a week or two to adjust. After this time, I couldn't be happier. I ended up ordering another bar with chamomille to bring out natural blonde highlights and I'm very satisfied.

 I had the awesome and lucky opportunity to sample many of CV's products.

 I enjoyed all  of the products, but here are my top 3 which I would recommend to the natural beauty enthusiast...

#1. Squalane Face and Eye Mousse

(the *best* under eye cream I've ever tried!)

#2. Chamomille and Citrus Shampoo Bar

(great for lighter hair)

#3. Ayurvedic Herb Shampoo Bar

Alright, friends!

Now for the giveaway!

The lucky winner will receive one of CV's very nourishing and truly awesome Ayurvedic Herb Shampoo Bars!

Lucky you!

Here's 3 ways to enter:

*Leave a comment  telling us about your favorite natural skin/body care product

*"Like" CV Soap and Salve on Facebook here

*Become a dear follower of Bending Birches via Google Friend Connect :) 

Get your comments in by FEBRUARY 11th:)

Best of luck!

Be sure to check out Chagrin Valley's website here!

Candlemas

Candle, candle, burning bright,

Fill us with your holy light.

May the flame of joy and love

Glow now in our hearts.

 ...No need for many words or explanations today.

How would you describe a day such as Candlemas to a very young child?

You don't.

They make of it what they will.

They gaze into candlelight..

They take it all in.

The evolution of an earthen candle...

Dig a small, deep hole...

Fill with melted beeswax or parafin 

 Watch it bubble and sizzle...

 

...And eventually calm down:) 

Place a candle wick in the center and hold it there....and wait.

 

and wait.

 

Trim the wick and watch them glow..

(spoons work well for digging!)

Dig around the candle once hardened and remove...you may even recognize a heart shape...or something else wonderful:)

 

This little light of mine...

...I'm going to let it shine!