we have splashed in the bath..
rolled around in bed..
said our "good nights"
exchanged our kisses..
This is the time when I watch my son slip away into sleep; resting close to my heart and skin; nursing him until his face relaxes..
his arms fall limp..
artist Thomas Sully
This is our bedtime routine.
It is about the same for naptime.
Upon awakening in the night, he looks for me, reaching for my chest; sometimes just the comforting touch will help him back to dreamland.
I cherish our bond..our moments together...the smell of his fuzzy hair in my face..
the buttery scent of his breath..
Life is beginning to change gradually for us.
I will (hopefully) be beginning my full year observation in a waldorf classroom as a prerequisite for acceptance into the Early childhood waldorf teacher training program. One full morning away from my boy.
artist Margaret Kane
This summer, I will attend a one-week intensive "Introduction to Waldorf" course 2 hours north of us. Frightened (and plain old just not ready) to leave for the evening, I will drive back and forth every day. Perhaps the long car ride will allow me time to sort through the day's events..
I worry for naptime, as my little sprite needs me to fall into sleep. Rest is imperative for young children, and I feel that we both thrive on his lengthy day time naps.
I am beyond thrilled for my experience this summer, but there is a part of me that is grieving a bit. It is the start of me leaving home. Leaving our rhythm. Pursuing a career.
It's a hard decision, but it is what will ultimately be best for everyone in our little family. For Daddy, as he needs help paying our bills and dreams of starting his own business. For W, as he will be able to attend a fantastic Waldorf school as a child of an (aspiring) faculty member. For me, fulfilling a dream. Expressing my passions. Having (what I hope to consider) the ultimate learning experience. I have been waiting my whole life for this!!!'
I ponder, "Will this be the beginning of the weaning process?"
"Will W learn to fall into sleep on his own?"
"Is there a gentle way to do this, gradually?"
"Will my temporary absence be a huge shock to him?"
"How will I feel about this??"
Advice is so very welcome..
How do you handle leaving?