We had a lovely morning with some friends; chatting about nature tables...eating rice and apple porridge...
We are taking our tree down this weekend...packing away all our decorations; reflecting upon how big our little boy will be when we see them next Christmas..
I was able to attend a beautiful Christmas Pageant at an Episcopalian church this past Sunday. I can't recall the last time I stepped into a church...and I know that I've never gotten a warm or glorious feeling. For those of you who have been reading my thoughts on this blog, you know that I do not consider myself a religious person or a follower of God.
Yet, somehow, this past weekend was different.
Was it the beautiful and rustic setting?
The kind-faced female leading the service?
The magic of Christmas?
The friendly faces all around me?
I don't know.
But something within me has changed.
Katherine Burleson, 'Epiphany Times three'
Is it me maturing...as a woman and mother? Am I ready to set aside my pride...and accept God?
To forget the memories of being scolded for dancing during a church service when I was 10 years old?
To forget the condescending tones of the parish members at my grandmother's church (which might be my most least favorite place..ever. To me, a fancy sound system, tons of money, and a brand new..everything..mean nothing to someone trying to come to know God.)
Something about this place, this church, made me feel good and whole.
The soup kitchen they run. A homeless shelter. The Montessori-based curriculum for their Sunday schools. The modest fellowship hall; devoid of anything fancy. Ordained women who seem real....and my age, too!
I owe it to myself...and to Wesley to make this right. I have had bad experiences, and they have shaped a part of me. I have been so confused. This is not something I want for my son! To believe in a heaven above...a creator, a protector...this is a great part of life and wholeness!
But where do I start?
Something tells me help is on the way....and what a time of year for it!