Coloring Day

The beginning of Fall is upon us!

Every day feels just a little bit more chilly and crisp.

Our slippers are finding their way to our feet..

Long sleeves are a must in the morning hours, only to be thrown to the side in sunny, warm park later on.

How long will this Indian summer last?

I again hear the ice cream truck lull down the street with its tinkly music and false promise of Summer...

The Fall has brought us several new playgarden children and room for just one more. It has also brought me a new assistant, Ms. Suzanne. I began searching for an assistant a few weeks ago and interviewed several. I was looking for someone loving and warm, someone who knew (or has the capacity to learn) how to stand back and let the children be. This isn't easy for most adults. The urge to explain, give choices, present, teach, and fill in silence is very much there for most people. I was looking for someone who didn't want to be the center of attention.

Ms. Suzanne is a great fit and the children already love her. She's with us for 2 hours each day-- from the the time we're outside at the park (1 hour) to when we come home for handwashing, a simple story, and lunch. These are the transitions that have proven to be most fragile for us, so it's wonderful to have another set of hands, ears, and eyes to guide us along in our day.

I feel that the relationship between a lead teacher and an assistant is akin to a very personal dance....the timing has to be right, or you're stepping all over each others feet. We're learning..and it's going very well! She's an experienced mother to 4 grown children with a good amount of valuable advice for me...but what's most important-- she's with us because she loves children. I can see it all over her face:)

 

The past 2 or 3 weeks have been rather painful for me, I am somewhat sorry to say. W has been going through some kind of change where he has become increasingly loud, territorial, and disruptive to his/our day. Attention seeking behaviors, such as yelling while at the table, stamping his feet, running around like a mad man during circle (and urging others to do so, as well), have been making me tick like a bomb waiting to go off. By the end of the afternoon when our 2 hour rest period has rolled around, I'm pretty much spent. Upstairs I go to nurse W and settle him in for a nap. Only, I don't want to be touched or have him nurse. He's looking for that reconnection, but I'm so not there. I'm somewhere else--- wanting to go downstairs and finish the dishes on my own, wanting to read a little bit, wanting to tidy everything up from the day...really, just wanting to be on my own for a bit. 

Weaning has been on our horizon for some time now (at 37 months), but it seems like each time I start to consider it more, the more he wants to have it. Even just for 5 seconds. It doesn't matter- he just wants me to say yes...probably because I've been such a say "no" or "please don't do that" mama for the past 3 weeks. Ah, ok. Now I see. How helpful it is for me to have this space to reflect and come too these realizations:)

awesome hollow blocks from community playthings

Our own children are fantastic at pushing our buttons. When the playgarden children are sometimes defiant towards me (as a 3 or 4 year old usually is), I barely bat an eyelash. I see these behaviors as developmental and most likely a need for something....to affirm that I am in charge, attention, etc. But my own child really does get me going. Screaming during our reverent candle time really irks me because it is such a special moment for all of us. Ignoring his behaviors is a difficult option because I don't want the other children to experience this kind of disruptive noise...I see them cover their ears and it makes me so sad. And angry towards W. Sometimes I wish that he could spend just one day at his grandmother's house during playgarden so I could see what it's like without him...how different the day would be. But-- he is very much a part of our group. I have to figure out what is truly unacceptable behavior and what is just making me annoyed or upset. I believe there is a difference. It's one of those things a Waldorf teacher has to learn to do-- to remove her own emotions, hang ups, triggers, and just be neutral. It's really hard.

But just like everything, it's a work in progress. And I'm willing to do the work. I'm just feeling exhausted and stretched thin in the patience-for-my-own-child department lately. 

The weekends and weekdays where we don't hold playgarden are different for W and I, relationship wise. We have the opportunity to play together, to be outside all day, and to be one on one. I do believe that this is what he is missing most during playgarden. I purposely make no plans for the evening (friends stopping by, somewhere to go, etc.) on days where the playgarden children are here. It's important that we have the evening together as a family uninterrupted. Really, this can be said for any young child who has had a nursery experience on a given day. To be home again is a feeling of security and normalcy, especially in these first few weeks of "school starting". Our home has to be just a home after 4pm. We need that time something fierce.

Well, so much for this being a post about our coloring day:)

In short, each Friday serves as our time to do some crayoning together with beeswax stick and block crayons....

We use over sized paper for this and the children spend a good amount of time engaged in this artistic activity. When they are done, the bring their work to me and I write their initials on the paper while saying their name:) I then roll it up and tie it with a piece of green yarn (green being the color of the day)

I do this extra slowly, as they love to watch the process. 

The next few weeks bring much to look forward to- apple picking, a Celtic celebration in our community, and Michaelmas....the opportune time for me to face the dragons which have been so full of fire in my life at this time...

The most lovely help...

The Summer here at Playgarden in slowly coming to a close. 

We just finished the final touches on our final puppet play for the month...

We typically experience the same story for a month, so this will be last show of the Summer.

It will also be the last puppet play for 3 of our playgarden children who will be attending kindergarten and 1st grade in the Fall.

Here is the eldest child, G, helping me prepare for the puppet play during rest time.

This was the first time I asked for her help and she was so excited to be a part of the show!

Her role was that of a crafter as well as playing the glockenspiel during the play.

We told the story for the first time today, and she did a lovely job.

Her hands are strong enough to create with modeling beeswax!

I will detail the story later this week.

It is entitled "The Green Button" and can be found in the Wynstones Summer book (my favorite collection of the 4 seasons)

 

Thank you for all of W's birthday wishes. It was a lovely celebration with our family this past Tuesday, and of course, candles in his Wednesday honey cornbread at snack during Playgarden. 

I typically do not make such a huge deal over birthdays during playgarden; a simple gift (for Summer birthdays, it has been a seashell necklace wrapped in the correct layers of tissue paper according to the child's age) and candles during snack time.

The verse I use before lighting the candles..

"Peas porridge hot,

Peas porridge cold,

our little (name) is (age) years old!"

It is such a joy to have the children participate in all aspects of caring for the home and all of the activities that come with it. There is something for every child, even the tiniest:)

Yarn along: summer shrug & thoughts *updated

Knitting along for the first time in months with Ginny...

I've been working on a simple summer shrug, and when I say simple, I really  do mean it.

I needed a project that would take some time, as the children are always watching to see what it is that I do. Whatever it is, it should take time and effort; nothing in haste. I know they'll be excited to see me wear it tomorrow morning as I'll be finished with it tonight!
It also needed to be simple in nature, as I like to sit and knit alongside of them...I plan on the interruptions and knitting a project that requires great concentration just isn't in the picture right now:)

Summer Shrug
Free Pattern:

Materials:
size 10.5 circular needles 16" (you'll be knitting back and forth, not in the round)
worsted weight yarn (less than a skein)...I used knit picks 100% cotton Swish in peapod.

CO 40 stitches
Row 1: *k1, p1, rep. from * to end of row
Row 2: *p1, k1, rep. from * to end of row

Repeat rows 1 and 2 five times for a total of 10 rows

Row 11: knit across
Row 12: *k1, yo, rep. from * to end of row
Row 13: *k1, drop yo, rep. from * to end of row
Row 14:  knit across

Repeat rows 11-14 until the drop stitch section reaches across the back from shoulder to shoulder

Knit 10 rows in seed stitch (as beginning)

Bind off

Fold in half and sew seed stitch rows to form your sleeves.

*I'll update this post with a photo of the finished project tomorrow*

UPDATES and FINISHED PHOTO:

 

My sweet photographer left out my face which is just fine by me:)

I stopped at our local health store today and received many, many compliments on the shrug and a few questions regarding the ease of this project. I can't say enough how easy it is.

As for reading, I've been finishing up my required Summer reading for Waldorf EC teacher training...I leave this coming Monday! The reading has been wonderful and so very interesting. I can't wait to be in a group to discuss so many of the concepts which are somewhat difficult to grasp...
such as..

What a fantastic read, even if some of the material is "over my head" at this point, but this included poem by William Wordsworth touched me profoundly...

   Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
          The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
              Hath had elsewhere its setting,
                And cometh from afar:
              Not in entire forgetfulness,
              And not in utter nakedness,
          But trailing clouds of glory do we come
              From God, who is our home:
          Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
          Shades of the prison-house begin to close
              Upon the growing Boy,
          But He beholds the light, and whence it flows,
              He sees it in his joy;
          The Youth, who daily farther from the east
              Must travel, still is Nature's Priest,
              And by the vision splendid
              Is on his way attended;
          At length the Man perceives it die away,
          And fade into the light of common day.

~INTIMATIONS OF IMMORTALITY FROM RECOLLECTIONS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD

 

The book has a section on the study of children's drawings which was very interesting...."the young child portrays with supreme artistry his experience of coming in from the cosmos an taking hold of his body. his drawings and painting are a spontaneous expression of this process..."

I went to bed last night thinking more about incarnation and the process...which I know so little about, but I'm way intrigued and so, so eager to learn. I felt especially full of awe during our candle snuffing at snack time when we sing "smoke goes up to heaven"....the eldest child looked at me and said, "We should say, 'Wesley goes up to heaven', since he isn't born just yet..." 

 Other titles I've been finishing up include:

 

 

..a book I've been slowly reading for about a year now.

For wonderful titles on Waldorf Early Childhood,click here.

This is our last week of Playgarden before I leave for school. We'll resume July 11th, which just seems so, so far away. I'm excited to bring back fresh ideas, inspiration, reflections, and more ways to better care for the children and myself.

Notes..

I'm at the conclusion of preparing for sample teaching and interviewing at our local Waldorf school...tomorrow!

I'm excited and so happy to have this opportunity...no matter what the outcome is.

I felt that the best way to prepare for the interview was to carefully read more of Steiner's work, as challenging as it sometimes can be. However, the past few nights, I've had  my nose in the book and I'm really thinking hard and considering what I've read...
   Here are some of my notes; a way for me to think more upon these things....

(All notes in italics were taken from Rudolph Steiner's Education of the Child)

We must know what part of the human being especially needs to be worked on at a certain age and how to work on it in the proper way
In Waldorf education, we are looking at everything in light of the developmental needs of each child. Young children under the age of 7 are still forming their physical organs into definite shapes. Just as nature causes the proper environment for the physical human body before birth, so after birth the educator must provide for the proper physical environment. A physical environment includes everything that can be perceived by their senses...all actions, foolish or wise. We must seek to become worthy of imitation, as this is how they learn about life: through imitation and example.

Toys with dead mathematical forms alone have a desolating and killing effect on the formative forces of children; on the other hand whatever kindles the imagination of living things works in the proper way. I've read this quote numerous times in waldorf early childhood books. It's worth repeating.

The joy of children in and with their environment, must therefore be counted among the forces that build and shape the physical organs. They need teachers that look and act with happiness and, most of all, with honest and unaffected love. Such a love that streams, as it were, with warmth through the physical environment of the children may literally "hatch" the forms of physical organs.
That is the intention: to bring a true and honest love for each child; regardless of your mood, what has happened during the early morning hours before school. To create an environment that offers beauty to the young eye...a sense of calm yet joyful and purposeful work...all in a predictable manner. Safety.

Imitation  belongs to the time when the physical body is developing...all learning associated with speech in these years should be especially through imitation. Children will best learn to speak through hearing; no rules or artificial instruction of any kind can be good for this.

....and now I must force myself to try to get a good night's sleep. It's not going to be easy! I find that I have the most clarity in the morning...and I'll be ready to face everything tomorrow after some time in the spiritual world of sleep...

Photos from the week...

 

wetfelting some puppets and props for a story...

 

we are dog sitting long term for a close friend...

the children adore these 2 pups!

...AND who needs a rototiller when you have a digging daschund?

 

Weaning...is a weird word.

 

Here's hoping all of you had a lovely Easter Day..

Ours was wonderful and filled with family and friends.

It is days like this that I reminded of how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in our lives.

Our extended family is close (too close, some have said! HaHa!) and holidays are always fantastic.

 

 Alright, who wouldn't gather 'round this sight?

Cousin friends:)

Baby L with his grandma and my Aunt Vicky:)

She serenaded him with a lullaby and his head seriously dropped.

W's hair is now long enough to fit into a little ponytail...or "boy tail" as we've been calling it:)

he's changed in the past 2 weeks and I'm catching up...

We've pushed both his nap and bedtime back...a half hour earlier for nap, and we're now fully committed to a 7:00-7:15 bedtime. In the past, it's what we have aimed for, but by 7:30, we'd still  be blowing bubbles in the bath. Yes well!

I feel like his sleep is more recuperative now that we're giving him even more of a chance to settle in. Lo and behold, and no surprise here, he's not nearly as cranky or clingy. In a moment of bravery; knowing full well the sleepless nights that would lie ahead, I also committed to night weaning him this past weekend. It's been something I've been feeling the need to do, for the sake of both W and I.

The first night was rough when a 45 minute tantrum ensued at 12:30 am. Jay and I are both using the reply, "Mommy is sleeping, Daddy is sleeping, and (his word for nursing) is sleeping, too. Wesley is going to sleep."

....A drink of water if he needs one...and sometimes 4 drops of children's rescue remedy.

He wakes about 2 more times during the night and is upset when he is again reminded that there is to be no nursing. Each time, however, he is less and less agitated and falls asleep on his own. He sometimes asks for a song ("Frosty the Snowman", always. Why, I am not sure. Of all songs! But you should hear my rendition at 3 am. I think I am falling sleep in between words...)

By morning, I'm exhausted and stumbling out of bed. But, I know that this will pass, like all things, and I feel that we have made the right choice. I recall W's earlier days where I joyfully nursed him on demand, and loved doing so. I was committed to letting him wean himself in every way. 33 months later, I'm looking at things differently. 

We're down to nursing before bed, in the morning, before nap, and after nap. I'm actually somewhat happy to do so during these times, and that's how it ought to be. It was too much for me during the night. And all throughout the day. And I think it may have been for him, too.

I'd be grateful if you'd share your nightweaning/weaning stories in the comments below.

Worth Repeating.

 Worth repeating; I so appreciate and consider the comments left by readers of this blog. Many of your comments offer great insight and suggestions and I am so thankful. 
My last post detailed our "weekly" story, giving the impression  that the story changes every week. In truth, I usually retell the story for 2 or more weeks, giving the children time to "live into the repetition and rhythm". This also helps me with preparation and allows time in between to become inspired to find another story suitable for what is happening in life.
 An anonymous commenter offered that "in Waldorf, a story is usually told for 1 month" and some of you wondered how that "works". Do the children become bored? Is it enough for them? What about the older children who "need" more? Such good questions and I wonder, why do we believe that they will become bored? Why do we assume that they "need more?" An anonymous poster offered a gem of a response; something I have reread a few times now and have considered at length.


This idea of boredom comes from the adult mind. If the child is allowed from a very young age to explore with depth, then they won't require change, change, change. It is the adult who says, here's this new toy, this new book, oh look at that and then that and then that, let's do this now that...rather then just allowing the child to be at his or her own pace with a few simple things. It is also suggested in Waldorf that children read the same few picture books for a whole season. If we guide our children towards depth, they will develop it and continually see new things and discover creative ways of playing and doing and being, not to mention the magic therein. If you keep introducing new, new, new then you create consumptive hunger and therefore a lack of satisfaction. It takes real mindfulness on the part of the adult to look at how we encourage boredom and the desire for new and more in the child.

My gosh, I LOVE this and it is worth repeating.

After reading this, I looked through our small basket of picture books and took half of them to the attic; leaving us with 5.  I did a little bit of decluttering in the house and thought about my consumptive hunger as an adult...

I am so glad to be exposed to this thinking now; early in W's development and early on in my development as a teacher.

I think of our park days with W as I observe parents and children interacting with each other (one of my most favorite past times, haha!) I see so much "chase that ball" or "let's do this now"; "don't you want to go down the slide next?" I'm left wondering what the child's inclination is-- do they want to sit and look at the ground for a minute without being asked "what are you doing? Oh, look! There's a bug! The dirt is *brown*!"

There's nothing like watching a child truly explore on their own; to find what it is that holds their interest and to not interrupt this process. To stand back. A Waldorf teacher remarked to me recently "We (adults) are really more of a hindrance at these times. They (the children) need so little from us."

(This reminds me of this awesome post which sums it up SO beautifully...please check it out; I am especially touched by the last group of photos.)

On a somewhat unrelated note...

Huge sigh of relief; I have been officially accepted into the Waldorf Early Childhood Teacher Education Program at The Sunbridge Institute in New York! 

I am thrilled to begin this journey.

(Take a look back at the photos from the introduction course, Summer 2011 here, here, and here)

I'm looking at the required reading for this Summer, and it looks like I am halfway done already before  receiving the list. (That will save us some money, for sure!) I'll share the reading requirements below as I feel they are truly important and inspirational books!

The Child from Birth to Three in Waldorf Education and Care, WECAN Books


Theosophy, by Rudolf Steiner

An Overview of the Waldorf Kindergarten,  Vol.1 in the Waldorf Kindergarten Series, WECAN Books.

A Deeper Understanding of the Waldorf Kindergarten , Vol. 2 in the Waldorf Kindergarten Series, WECAN Books

Work and Play in Early Childhood, Freya Jaffke, Floris Books

The Developing Child: The First Seven Years of Life, WECAN Books

various chapters,  including “Stages of Development in Early Childhood” and “The Significance of Imitation for the Development of the Will” by Freya Jaffke,  “The Vital Role of Play in Childhood” by Joan Almon and “Forces of Growth and Forces of Fantasy” by Michaela Gloeckler

Additional Recommended Resources:

Let Us Form a Ring, Nancy Foster, WECAN Books

Nokken, A Garden for Children, Helle Heckmann, WECAN Books

On the Play of the Child, Freya Jaffke, editor, WECAN Books

The Education of the Child, Rudolf Steiner

Trust and Wonder – Nurturing Young Children and their Families – a Waldorf approach to caring for infants and toddlers, Eldbjorg Paulsen, WECAN Books

The Young Child:  Creative Living with Two- to Four-Year-Olds, Udo de Haes, Anthroposophic Press

Working with the Angels: The Young Child and the Spiritual World, Susan Howard, editor, Gateways Series, WECAN Books

In closing, we celebrated Daddy's 30th birthday this weekend with the family..

Including W's new cousin, Baby Luke. 

I have 4 cousins and we are the best of friends...they mean so, so much to me and have always been prominent in my life.

 I hope the same for W and Luke:)

 Happy 30th, Daddy!

After the fire...

It's been an interesting week.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been at my wits end with my W as of late. There's something inside of me that has been churning; buttons that are being pressed over and over again. Patience is running dry and I've been craving moments to myself to just rethink and process.
My boy is 30 months and actively exploring his boundaries and the world around him. His body is changing. He's been waking during nap and bed time causing me much lost sleep and time to complete work for my other job which really tends to set me back emotionally. I've been at the receiving end of much hitting and slapping, and I'm not just talking flailing arms here while he's upset.
What does it feel like to get smacked in the face? What do you feel instantly?
I usually feel annoyed and like I have to just put him down and walk away.
This week I feel like screaming "NO!" I become angry, which is a very real emotion for me.
All of this coupled with fighting naps, general crankiness, and him screaming "NO!" right back at me (ironic!) makes for a challenging week in every way.
I felt tired of sitting in the rocking chair for an hour before bedtime, tired of him nursing all throughout the night and pulling on my nipples (ouch. That never doesn't hurt like hell.), tired of him crying for me all throughout the night.
Amidst my frustration and building anger, I totally skipped over the realization that he may be getting sick. Or teething. Or picking up on my negative emotions.
Yesterday, he woke from a short nap with a 102 fever and vomited all over me. And for the rest of the evening. He needed to be held all night...and I felt myself softening once again.
I felt a little bit guilty, but mostly...revived. Revived by the real reminder that this little body needs me for so many different reasons and things... that I need to be a solid rock, yet a soft landing to arrive at when he needs it most. I felt his body close to mine, like a hot oven burning, and smelled his hair. Yes, this is it. 

I see him so miserable and reaching out and I realize over again that I want to hold him. I want to rock him. Maybe I don't feel this way all the time, but that's ok, too.
Many people may believe that being a stay-at-home parent or working with young children is not such a difficult role. Truth is, and I think you'll agree, it can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Everyday, you're giving so much of yourself---your soul, your heart, your body, your very being, to these children who live in this difficult world where they face so many challenges. They can take so much from you, but you're willing to give it. Sometimes we fall off the train...or we willingly get off...but we always jump back on.

W's fever is still burning, although he was in better spirits for some of the day today. He spent most of the evening slumped over on me, in the darkened living room. After a 103 degree fever last night, it's worth mentioning that he awoke with a somewhat different voice. His usual way of saying "yeah"...turned into a definitive "yes." seemingly overnight. His voice sounded mature and his sentences more formed. I have read that many children experience developmental changes after a high fever, so this was interesting to me. I noticed this right away.

Through difficult times, I have been practicing connecting with W's guardian angel and the spiritual world around me. (see a detailed excerpt of the book I've been reading and considering here) This practice does help me through the realization that I will always need help and guidance in caring for this young child, and any child who is in my care.

“Remember daily that you are continuing the work of the spiritual world with the children. You
are the preparers of the path for these young souls who wish to form their lives in these difficult times. 

The spiritual world
will always stand by you in this task. This is the wellspring of strength which you so need.”

~Herbert Hahn

(taken from this fantastic article" Birth to the Age of Three: Our Responsibility"-- a wonderful and important read.)

30...and giveaway winner!

 

Yesterday marked my 30th year in this world I have come to know...

The future is an exciting place to ponder upon.

The old photo above is a great representation of who I am and how some things remain the same over time...

...I still have a toothy smile.

...I still get excited oh so easily. It is very hard for me to contain myself when I'm happy about something!

...Style wise, I probably am still stuck somewhere in the 80's (haha!)

...The cassette tape  in the photo is Madonna's Immaculate Collection. Still a favorite. Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation is up there, too.

...I'll always love my birthday; probably just as much as I did in this photograph. It's a day to be reminded  of how incredibly lucky you are to be surrounded by people who love and support you.

We officially danced all night long; in a somewhat snooty restaurant with a DJ willing to play all of our crazy requests. We probably were laughed at and we were definitely pointed at. We were the only people in the room dancing the entire time..and it was awesome.

Life changes....

                                             From being sort of confused and not all that happy....

 

                                                                   To being confident...

                                       ....to believing in love and all of its beauty and promise...

to feeling complete.

....Now for the lucky giveaway winner of the Woodland Woolens Waldorf Doll!

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your doll memories upon entering the giveaway. They were a joy to read and they certainly made me smile:)

If you're a new reader here, I offer you the warmest of welcomes!

THE HIPPIE ODYSSEY is our giveaway winner:)

Lucky you, dearie!

Kindly get in touch with me so your little sweetie can be mailed to you:)

as always, thanks for reading..